Autumn

Fall has always been my favorite season. I am really not a hot-weather person. I melt in the heat. I get crabby. So, fall comes, like a breath of fresh air, reviving my soul after August has sucked the life out of it. I want to buy school supplies, I get out all my sweaters, and I suddenly feel like I could conquer the world.

This year has been unusual, though. Summer in Helena was more than just bearable, it was downright lovely.... with lots of rain to keep things green, temperatures rarely over 90, and two toddlers who I could shoo out the door most of the day to explore the back yard, splash in their pool, and stay out of my hair! Fall came late, and as it approached I found myself apprehensive, dreading the long winter that I knew would be following it. Isn't that just how we are, not enjoying the beauty we have at hand because we are anticipating what is next, whether bad or good. But, God has been gracious, and Fall has lasted long this year, and I am finally relishing in it's loveliness. Buying a new sweater or two has definitely helped get me in the spirit. And, maybe a couple of hats. And a scarf. OK, that's all.

I have not written a blog in so long because I feel like every time I have tried I have just been complaining. I have been so busy, working lots extra and just trying to keep up with life in general. Finn has been teething, then sick. I have been doing a little better on keeping up with house work. So, what else is there to talk about? I cannot deny that lately, at times, I feel so defeated. I feel defeated by the pile of laundry I can never catch up, by the kids destroying the house I just cleaned, by the pile of bills I need to sit down and pay. Thankfully we always have money to pay them, but bookkeeping is what I do for a living and therefore I never want to do it for myself. Usually there is more of feeling alternately defeated and inspired, especially in the fall, but I have had a hard time finding inspiration. I am just so darn tired.

Today felt like practically the best day in my life, however. The kid's cold has been threatening to catch me;, working way too much and sleeping way too little have been wearing on me. So, I dropped the kids off at Theresa's, called in to work, went home and slept most of the day, ran errands, and then picked up the kids and enjoyed the rest of the evening with them and Regan. Oh, how much I needed that.

I still don't know what to say, how to not sound like I'm complaining. So, I will end with this: Thank you God for this beautiful weather, for providing us with everything we need, for my wonderful and flexible job, and for great friends who take care of our children. And for the great new hats and sweater I found at awesome prices.

Amen.